4 Tips to surviving the roads of Bali
Usually the go in Bail is that you have a driver, they are reasonably priced and are about every 5 meters so you wont ever find yourself stranded. If you ask your hotel for one they will just go down to the street corner and hail one into the hotel for you. The drivers are pretty willing to take you anywhere as our driver (bless him) once took us from Kuta to Lovina, which is basically from the south of the island to the north shore. It only took us 6 hours but can you imagine asking a taxi driver to drive from Brisbane to Rockhampton. Yeah, i don't think so. (These steps don't really apply to those of you who plan to biking or riding on a scooter)
Step 1
Fasten your seat belt its going to be a bumpy ride.
The roads of Bali are basically a dirt path that someone one day came and poured bitumen on it from a rusty old bucket they had lying around. Its patchy and bumpy and though it may have possibly once resembled a smooth road it no longer holds the reputation as the 1.76 million cars and scooters have driven a path into the road that now consist of pot holes and wasted paint. I'm pretty sure there whole road system wasn't really thought through clearly enough as its basically just a big mass of chaos and defys every law of physics. Somehow it all just works.
Step 2:
Blast the music.
Weather its an iPod or just the radio make sure that shit is loud. Bali is a natural loud place with people yelling, cars honking there horns every 5 seconds and just the general festivities that involve loud music, singing and occasionally dancing on the sides of the roads. (Don't be alarmed if your driving along and then suddenly there is a parade dancing through the streets.) Like a frightened puppy you want to shelter yourselves from the strange noises until you are used to the chaos.
Step 3:
Close your eyes.
(Unless your are the driver then please , God, don't close your eyes.)
You know that saying 'ignorance is bliss'? This differently apply to any driving done in Bali. Trust me when i say its better not to know who or what is running across the road in front of the car, it will just freak out out by seeing the car skim people and the heart sinking feeling of running something over and no matter how many times my sister yells 'Little dog' the driver wont slow even a bit. Cows walk on the side of the road close enough to pat - if you were willing to risk your arm out the window - and i guess we will never know why the chicken crossed the road because the dense traffic either keeps them to one side of the road or takes them down the highway to hell, or perhaps the stairway to heaven. Either way they never fully cross.
Step 4:
Go to your happy place.
Whilst your eyes are closed and you are basking in the loudest music just imagine yourself in your happy place. Something that worked for me was imagining me in my destination. For example if we were driving from the hotel to the beach i would just imagine myself laying on the beach under the sun, or if we were on our way from the beach to the hotel i would just imagine all the things i would do when i got back to the hotel room. Like maybe take an hour long bath to distress after the psycho drive from the beach to the hotel room. Top Tip:
Just enjoy it.
The craziness is apart of the culture and its scary but that's the best type of fear. The kind that has you on edge with excitement. Its an awesome experience and if you can laugh your way through the fear you will be fine.
Kelsey Marcella
(If your interested in having a driver for the entirety of the trip i highly recommend our friend and driver Abong. Comment for details)
